Losing My Sanity

If you are an active reader, you must feel like we are on a roller coaster. One day is a great day and then we are in the pits of despair with tantrums and exhaustion. That is not my normal behavior. I am usually even-tempered...I even pride myself on my consistency.

The last two nights have not been in the "good" category. As Milli Vanilli once said, "Blame it on the rain!" That's where it all started. Let me set the stage!

First, we are in the final, final stages of the new house. Bill the Builder is digging utilities (side note: I promise that what he does is very impressive. I've been walking a broken marriage road with a dear friend which has spurred me to put more focus on my marriage and on my husband but it's hard when we are living separate lives right now with me traveling and him building the house. So I was just looking for some things to make him feel good during this last, grueling stage of the house. I told him Sunday when we were at the new house that he dug very impressive ditches. Such simple words, but his chest puffed out and a huge smile came across his face as he said, "Really!?!").

Okay, back to the story. Bill is digging utilities and it wasn't supposed to RAIN until Wednesday. But it started raining Tuesday night. So Bill and his good friends were over at the house until around 9:00 laying pipes and back-filling ditches (are you impressed with my construction lingo yet!). So, Claire and I had the evening alone.

At 6:30p, I was preparing her for bath-time and she decided she didn't want to take a bath so she head-butted me!!! She missed my head and hit my brand-new glasses and the lens popped out. I rarely get mad, but I was mad. I put her in the bathtub with some duck friends and headed to the living room to cool off. I called Bill and told him he probably needed to come home for the sake of his first born. He just couldn't with the rain coming in. I understood, but I was afraid of my own anger so I needed to get away from her! After giving her a bath, she went to bed at 7:00 pm because I was still mad (her usual bedtime is 8:00-8:30).

Next day, we all woke up fresh and ready for another day. After picking her up yesterday afternoon, we headed to the new house since the painters had painted the two main rooms. As Bill and I walked around the house, Claire found a pencil and proceeded to "doodle" on the freshly painted walls... two different walls. And then, as she came to get us to show us her artwork, she ran her hand down the hallway of wet paint. Not only are their smudges in the new paint, she had paint on her hands and in her hair. The child is going to be the death of me. You will be glad to know that I didn't get mad, the painters were coming anyway to touch up!!!

Claire and I headed home so Bill could get to work. As soon as we entered the house, Dr. Jeckyl took over and she threw one fit after another for 2 hours. At one moment, (this is when the guys that happen to read the blog - Mark - need to forgive me or leave), she got in her diaper bag and found my personal cosmetic case and started unwrapping and playing with my tampons and maxi pads (she loves band-aids...she must have thought they were just a bigger version).

At this point, I'm not willing to choose this one as a battle. She sat in her bedroom floor and played contently with her new "toys" taking them apart and putting them back together and I sat in the hallway hitting her big bouncy ball against the wall with her miniature Louisville slugger! (Do you ever remember hitting or bouncing a tennis ball against a wall when you were young...same effect).

I know you may think I'm going crazy and if anyone had a hidden camera I'm sure they would have called the doctors, but it was a big stress reliever. I was exerting some negative energy with no danger to anyone or anything and she was content!

3 weeks and counting until saner days arrive!