God blessed me this weekend with some really sweet and really rich personal Bible study. I have never really been trained to study scripture on my own. Alot of my bible study has been hit and miss by thumbing through commentaries and reading what other people believe and have written.
Recently, I began a new Bible study from Priscilla Shirer, Can We Talk? Priscilla and LifeWay, the publisher, have marketed the Bible study as an "un-Bible study" which always made me think "hmmmm...what does that mean?" Well, after 3 weeks of it, I am figuring it out. Priscilla uses a bible study method called the 5 P's of Bible Study:
1. Position yourself to hear from God.
2. Pore over the passage and paraphrase the major points.Look for the who, what, when, where, and why of the verse
3. Pull out the spiritual principles.What is God teaching? What is He revealing about Himself?
4. Pose the question.Form a personally directed question from each of the spiritual principles.
5. Plan obedience and pin down a date.
In this season of my life, my Bible study has been revolutionized by this method. God has revealed so many riches to me through this method. Thus, leading me to the title of this entry. I was studying a familiar passage of Galations 5. This is the passage that talks about the fruit of the Holy Spirit and the actions of the flesh. I think I have every translations of the Bible from NIV, NLT, HCSB, KJV, and so on. On this particular day, I was reading out on my backporch with my small Bible, NLT. Now, like I said, this passage was very familiar to me but the way the NLT phrased it, a new revelation jumped off the pages at me. And here is what my Bible read:
Galatians 5:17 (New Living Translation)
17 The old sinful nature loves to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite from what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, and your choices are never free from this conflict.
My choices are NEVER free from this conflict (of the Holy Spirit and the flesh). Why did it jump out at me in a different way? I think because of the word choices. I make choices daily. Even if I am living in freedom and victory over an area in my life, I am still making deliberate choices CONSTANTLY to remain in victory and freedom. And even the opposite is true. Even if the flesh is having the victory, my next choice concerning that area can be one of the Spirit. I don't have to wait until tomorrow to get a do over. My next choice is my "do over."
As I pondered this thought, I thought about the battles that must be happening in the heavenlies over my decisions. It made me tired to even think about it. My own mind wears me out sometimes, let alone to know that the battle is raging in the unseen world over every single choice I make concerning each and every area of my life.
As my friend Michelle reminded me today, we are living sacrifices to God. We continually lay ourselves, our actions, our decisions and our choices on the alter. It's active and fluid. We can get up off that alter or we continually choose to lay there!
I hope this meant something to someone today. Maybe it was just something I needed! But it certainly made me look at my life differently and help me to realize that life is exciting and my choices have eternal consequences.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
A Photo Catch Up Entry
Here are some summer-time pics of The Cato House! We've had a great summer but all of us are ready for the cool reprieve of fall!
Down at the creek behind our house!
Cooling off in her pool!
Being a beach-bum is hard work!
Monday, August 17, 2009
A Thought I've Been Pondering
I'm in women's ministry. So it's my work and ministry to pay attention to what is going on with women. What do women like? What are women buying? What are women reading? What are women watching? So on and so on until you think you should have a degree in womanology!
At my office, the newest thing we are paying attention to is social networking. This is foreign to me, first, because I'm an introvert and I don't like to network. I like my small, tight-knit group of friends and families. I cannot be fully engaged in the lives of hundreds of my Facebook friends. I would rather live and be in the throws of life with a few. Second, I don't feel like my life is interesting enough to Twitter about or post status updates on Facebook or even be posting blogs. But those above me say it's not about what you write, it's about gaining a bigger network. Hmmmm!
Last week, my director sent an email out telling us to "watch these up-and-coming, Christian bloggers." So, Friday afternoon, when it was really slow in the office, I went through all of the blogs of these fine women, saved them to my favorites and even stopped by and visited some of the blogs. They were very interesting, very creative...I would even love to be friends with many, if not all, of these ladies.
However, one thing it did to me, that I wasn't expecting and had me pondering all weekend, was foster a sense of insecurity in me. These gals have it together! They write so well, they are so creative, they are great photographers, they have beautiful families, they are encouraging, they are bringing joy to so many, they are traveling, they are remodeling their homes on a shoestring budget and it looks like a dollhouse, they are writing books, they are presenting at conferences, they are weathering the storms of life one blog entry at a time.
Now, I can pick up a People magazine at the grocery store and see a "star" that seems to have it all together and know in the back of my head that their life is as airbrushed as their photo. But these blogging gals are real life, in the trenches, women! It just made me look at myself differently...even to the point of thinking I should take down my blog altogether because I didn't want to compare my random rants to these "professionals."
Hmmmm! So what is it? What caused the insecurity? I am a pretty secure gal typically. Was it just a fleeting feeling. Something that I'll laugh at when I read back over my post...tomorrow! Is God using this as a springboard to move me to the "next" in my life?
So, in closing today (and I think I'll be revisiting this topic again), I'm praying that God will make me secure in my "ordinary" life...the "ordinary" life that MANY would die to have and I am so blessed to be living.
At my office, the newest thing we are paying attention to is social networking. This is foreign to me, first, because I'm an introvert and I don't like to network. I like my small, tight-knit group of friends and families. I cannot be fully engaged in the lives of hundreds of my Facebook friends. I would rather live and be in the throws of life with a few. Second, I don't feel like my life is interesting enough to Twitter about or post status updates on Facebook or even be posting blogs. But those above me say it's not about what you write, it's about gaining a bigger network. Hmmmm!
Last week, my director sent an email out telling us to "watch these up-and-coming, Christian bloggers." So, Friday afternoon, when it was really slow in the office, I went through all of the blogs of these fine women, saved them to my favorites and even stopped by and visited some of the blogs. They were very interesting, very creative...I would even love to be friends with many, if not all, of these ladies.
However, one thing it did to me, that I wasn't expecting and had me pondering all weekend, was foster a sense of insecurity in me. These gals have it together! They write so well, they are so creative, they are great photographers, they have beautiful families, they are encouraging, they are bringing joy to so many, they are traveling, they are remodeling their homes on a shoestring budget and it looks like a dollhouse, they are writing books, they are presenting at conferences, they are weathering the storms of life one blog entry at a time.
Now, I can pick up a People magazine at the grocery store and see a "star" that seems to have it all together and know in the back of my head that their life is as airbrushed as their photo. But these blogging gals are real life, in the trenches, women! It just made me look at myself differently...even to the point of thinking I should take down my blog altogether because I didn't want to compare my random rants to these "professionals."
Hmmmm! So what is it? What caused the insecurity? I am a pretty secure gal typically. Was it just a fleeting feeling. Something that I'll laugh at when I read back over my post...tomorrow! Is God using this as a springboard to move me to the "next" in my life?
So, in closing today (and I think I'll be revisiting this topic again), I'm praying that God will make me secure in my "ordinary" life...the "ordinary" life that MANY would die to have and I am so blessed to be living.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
It's Been a Tough Season...Part 2
This past March and April, I began experiencing severe cramping in my stomach and pain in my lower back. I self-diagnosed myself with ulcers (for my stomachache) and chronic back pain left over from my T12 fracture. I suffered for an entire month.
I would pull myself together to get to work and put on a happy face, but the night time was my safety zone in the privacy of home and I found myself paralyzed to do anything productive and laying on the couch all night. I didn't like this life (who would) when I had a toddler running around saying, "Get up Mommy. Come play with me."
April was a busy month of traveling for work and many times alone. On one particular trip to California, I remember just feeling horrible the entire time I was there. After turning my nose up to any suggestion of going to the doctor, I finally plopped myself down into the dr. office the morning after returning from California. After another CT scan, the radiologist ordered me to get to the ER..."you have an appendicitis."
"No, I do not" was my thoughts. An appendicitis does not last for a month. If I had an appendicitis, I wouldn't be able to pull myself together. But I took the drs orders and headed straight to the ER (after stopping at the bookstore to get me a good book to read through the upcoming ordeal).
Whe the surgeon came wheeling into the ER to check me out before surgery, he stopped dead in his tracks and said, "You do not have an appendicitis. You wouldn't be sitting up in bed smiling at me!"
Long story short, they called my gastrointerologist and after closer examination, it was inflammation, near the appendix, caused by the Crohn's Disease. I was admitted into the hospital for 3.5 days for observation, iv antibiotics and making sure that a perforation didn't and wouldn't occur.
After leaving the hospital on many medications, I still didn't feel well and the cramping in my stomach continued despite how little or how much I ate. After 2.5 more months of this pain and 2 unsuccessful drugs, I was admitted back into the hospital. This time, I was started on the heavy artillery of Crohn's medication...Remicade. I am currently still on an iv infusion of remicade every 4 weeks and eventually every 8 weeks and feeling much better.
My full life is returning and I'm not just going through the motions. I am feeling well.
I would pull myself together to get to work and put on a happy face, but the night time was my safety zone in the privacy of home and I found myself paralyzed to do anything productive and laying on the couch all night. I didn't like this life (who would) when I had a toddler running around saying, "Get up Mommy. Come play with me."
April was a busy month of traveling for work and many times alone. On one particular trip to California, I remember just feeling horrible the entire time I was there. After turning my nose up to any suggestion of going to the doctor, I finally plopped myself down into the dr. office the morning after returning from California. After another CT scan, the radiologist ordered me to get to the ER..."you have an appendicitis."
"No, I do not" was my thoughts. An appendicitis does not last for a month. If I had an appendicitis, I wouldn't be able to pull myself together. But I took the drs orders and headed straight to the ER (after stopping at the bookstore to get me a good book to read through the upcoming ordeal).
Whe the surgeon came wheeling into the ER to check me out before surgery, he stopped dead in his tracks and said, "You do not have an appendicitis. You wouldn't be sitting up in bed smiling at me!"
Long story short, they called my gastrointerologist and after closer examination, it was inflammation, near the appendix, caused by the Crohn's Disease. I was admitted into the hospital for 3.5 days for observation, iv antibiotics and making sure that a perforation didn't and wouldn't occur.
After leaving the hospital on many medications, I still didn't feel well and the cramping in my stomach continued despite how little or how much I ate. After 2.5 more months of this pain and 2 unsuccessful drugs, I was admitted back into the hospital. This time, I was started on the heavy artillery of Crohn's medication...Remicade. I am currently still on an iv infusion of remicade every 4 weeks and eventually every 8 weeks and feeling much better.
My full life is returning and I'm not just going through the motions. I am feeling well.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
It's Been a Tough Season...Part 1
Nope, not the summer. The summer has actually been a wonderful, mild summer than past drought-filled summers. I'm more talking about this season of life.
What do I have to complain about? I've asked myself this many times. I have a husband that adores me and has actually never (against the warnings of many) followed the adage, "You can't teach an old dog new tricks." He's been very moldable these past 5 years and serves the socks off of me! I have an adorable 2 1/2 year old daughter who is easy; sleeping through the night before she was supposed to and was potty trained without any blood, sweat or tears. I have a beautiful home that my adoring husband built for us with his blood, sweat and tears. I have a job and ministry that I am continually humbled to have and wander how in the world God was able to orchestrate my every step to be in the right place at the right time. One mis-step and who knows where I would be. Both of my parents are healthy, I have a loving family and faithful and loyal friends. I have more than enough food on the table each and every night.
I'm not complaining about my life. I am so thankful for all the blessings God has given me. But it's been a tough, emotional season of life.
Tough Season Part 1 could officially be stated as beginning in December 2007. Being a multi-tasking mother, I was heading to the Plan B babysitter, running late to work (I'm sure), feeding Claire breakfast in the car and driving. I took my eyes off the road for one milli-second to look in the rearview mirror at her and my front right tire of our new Tahoe decided to leave the road. The road we were on didn't have those annoying "grates" that warn you to pull it back to the left. It didn't have a guardrail. It didn't even have much of a shoulder. Instead, it had a steep enbankment leading down to a field. In a flash, Claire and I in the Tahoe were bouncing across that field and several run-off ditches. The Tahoe came to a sudden stop after we crossed a deep run-off gully. To make a long story shorter, the ambulance ushered me and Claire to Vandy ER. Claire was totally unharmed. Mommy was diagnosed with a fracture to the T12 (a broken back).
While still reeling from a diagnosis of a broken back, a sweet nurse with poor bedside manners came in to release me from the ER. "Oh, by the way, the doctor said you need to see your PCP immediately. Your CAT scan shows signs of probably Crohn's Disease."
...Oh, by the way. "What" I screamed in my head. At that point, the fracture was a minor inconvenience. She just leisurely diagnosed me with a chronic disease. A disease that has always had a negative, hopeless connotation in my head.
Just lately, a doctor described me as stoic. And as I think back about that day in the ER, yes, I can agree that I am often stoic. Bill stood there waiting for my reaction, but no reaction came. We drove to Panera Bread to grab a bite to eat after an all-day adventure in the ER. Only after Bill went inside to get me a sandwich and my boss, Paige, showed up to hand off my work computer to me and I repeated the story of the Crohn's Disease to her did I cry.
Ironically, I was no longer exhibiting symptoms of the Crohn's (I had had some severe stomach cramping a couple of weeks earlier but never had it checked out). So when I went to visit the gastrointerologist after Vandy's recommendation, and after a lower GI and colonoscopy showed a non-specific injury to my small intestine, we decided to play the "wait and see" game.
Fast forward to this March after 14 months pain-free (now I know that it is considered "remission" from Crohn's). In March, the severe stomach cramping returned with no relief and that is when this current season really began.
What do I have to complain about? I've asked myself this many times. I have a husband that adores me and has actually never (against the warnings of many) followed the adage, "You can't teach an old dog new tricks." He's been very moldable these past 5 years and serves the socks off of me! I have an adorable 2 1/2 year old daughter who is easy; sleeping through the night before she was supposed to and was potty trained without any blood, sweat or tears. I have a beautiful home that my adoring husband built for us with his blood, sweat and tears. I have a job and ministry that I am continually humbled to have and wander how in the world God was able to orchestrate my every step to be in the right place at the right time. One mis-step and who knows where I would be. Both of my parents are healthy, I have a loving family and faithful and loyal friends. I have more than enough food on the table each and every night.
I'm not complaining about my life. I am so thankful for all the blessings God has given me. But it's been a tough, emotional season of life.
Tough Season Part 1 could officially be stated as beginning in December 2007. Being a multi-tasking mother, I was heading to the Plan B babysitter, running late to work (I'm sure), feeding Claire breakfast in the car and driving. I took my eyes off the road for one milli-second to look in the rearview mirror at her and my front right tire of our new Tahoe decided to leave the road. The road we were on didn't have those annoying "grates" that warn you to pull it back to the left. It didn't have a guardrail. It didn't even have much of a shoulder. Instead, it had a steep enbankment leading down to a field. In a flash, Claire and I in the Tahoe were bouncing across that field and several run-off ditches. The Tahoe came to a sudden stop after we crossed a deep run-off gully. To make a long story shorter, the ambulance ushered me and Claire to Vandy ER. Claire was totally unharmed. Mommy was diagnosed with a fracture to the T12 (a broken back).
While still reeling from a diagnosis of a broken back, a sweet nurse with poor bedside manners came in to release me from the ER. "Oh, by the way, the doctor said you need to see your PCP immediately. Your CAT scan shows signs of probably Crohn's Disease."
...Oh, by the way. "What" I screamed in my head. At that point, the fracture was a minor inconvenience. She just leisurely diagnosed me with a chronic disease. A disease that has always had a negative, hopeless connotation in my head.
Just lately, a doctor described me as stoic. And as I think back about that day in the ER, yes, I can agree that I am often stoic. Bill stood there waiting for my reaction, but no reaction came. We drove to Panera Bread to grab a bite to eat after an all-day adventure in the ER. Only after Bill went inside to get me a sandwich and my boss, Paige, showed up to hand off my work computer to me and I repeated the story of the Crohn's Disease to her did I cry.
Ironically, I was no longer exhibiting symptoms of the Crohn's (I had had some severe stomach cramping a couple of weeks earlier but never had it checked out). So when I went to visit the gastrointerologist after Vandy's recommendation, and after a lower GI and colonoscopy showed a non-specific injury to my small intestine, we decided to play the "wait and see" game.
Fast forward to this March after 14 months pain-free (now I know that it is considered "remission" from Crohn's). In March, the severe stomach cramping returned with no relief and that is when this current season really began.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
You Make Me Laugh
Claire, you make me laugh. I think Grandma prays for you to make me laugh because that seems to be the only time I call her! Last night, we were coming home from Vacation Bible School. It was dark and rainy and we were pulling out of the parking lot across the street of the church.
"Oh no, Oh no, Oh no...the toy fell down," you pathetically moaned.
"Claire, what are you talking about?"
"Oh no, oh no, the toy fell down." You were so concerned.
"Oh no!"
I looked across the street towards the church where you were looking. The inflatable bouncy house and slide that were up for VBS had been shut off for the night and were laying flat on the ground.
"Claire, are you talking about the bouncy house?" I asked.
"Yes, the bouncy house fell down!" your little heart broken.
"Claire, they just took the air out of it for the night. It will be back up tomorrow!"
This morning as I was getting ready for work, you were laying all cozy in mommy and daddy's bed with the blankets pulled up to your chin watching cartoons.
"Mommy! You don't go to work today. You stay home with me and watch Scooby Dooby!" you commanded.
Now what mother could turn that down?
As I laughed, I layed down with you for just a second and explained that you had to go to school and I had to go to work.
"You need pillow. I share!" you continued to convince!
Oh, you are so hard to deny!
Your little vocabulary is developing every day. Your little mind amazes me. You are so smart. You see things that adults just let go by everyday. You are funny. You are caring. I love you so much!
"Oh no, Oh no, Oh no...the toy fell down," you pathetically moaned.
"Claire, what are you talking about?"
"Oh no, oh no, the toy fell down." You were so concerned.
"Oh no!"
I looked across the street towards the church where you were looking. The inflatable bouncy house and slide that were up for VBS had been shut off for the night and were laying flat on the ground.
"Claire, are you talking about the bouncy house?" I asked.
"Yes, the bouncy house fell down!" your little heart broken.
"Claire, they just took the air out of it for the night. It will be back up tomorrow!"
This morning as I was getting ready for work, you were laying all cozy in mommy and daddy's bed with the blankets pulled up to your chin watching cartoons.
"Mommy! You don't go to work today. You stay home with me and watch Scooby Dooby!" you commanded.
Now what mother could turn that down?
As I laughed, I layed down with you for just a second and explained that you had to go to school and I had to go to work.
"You need pillow. I share!" you continued to convince!
Oh, you are so hard to deny!
Your little vocabulary is developing every day. Your little mind amazes me. You are so smart. You see things that adults just let go by everyday. You are funny. You are caring. I love you so much!
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
A Note to Claire
"Time-out" 3 times before we left the house this morning...not a good start to our day. Daddy and I are laying down the law until your new attitude leaves. You are so smart about everything else in life...we know you understand the difference between blessings and consequences, disrepect and respect and disobedience and obedience! I know these are big words, but you have had enough association with them according to your behavior...we know you know what we mean. If you are smart enough to march yourself to your time-out chair, you are smart enough to know the reason why.
We love you so much and feel so blessed to have the opportunity to mold your sweet little personality. The good part of this story is that these stints of bad behavior are short lived and few and far between. We understand you are in detox from Grand-ma's and Aunt Anga's, so we have given you some additional grace :).
Your goal today is to get a good report from Ms. Emily at school and prove you do, indeed, have listening ears.
I love you,
Mommy
We love you so much and feel so blessed to have the opportunity to mold your sweet little personality. The good part of this story is that these stints of bad behavior are short lived and few and far between. We understand you are in detox from Grand-ma's and Aunt Anga's, so we have given you some additional grace :).
Your goal today is to get a good report from Ms. Emily at school and prove you do, indeed, have listening ears.
I love you,
Mommy
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