A Thought I've Been Pondering

I'm in women's ministry. So it's my work and ministry to pay attention to what is going on with women. What do women like? What are women buying? What are women reading? What are women watching? So on and so on until you think you should have a degree in womanology!

At my office, the newest thing we are paying attention to is social networking. This is foreign to me, first, because I'm an introvert and I don't like to network. I like my small, tight-knit group of friends and families. I cannot be fully engaged in the lives of hundreds of my Facebook friends. I would rather live and be in the throws of life with a few. Second, I don't feel like my life is interesting enough to Twitter about or post status updates on Facebook or even be posting blogs. But those above me say it's not about what you write, it's about gaining a bigger network. Hmmmm!

Last week, my director sent an email out telling us to "watch these up-and-coming, Christian bloggers." So, Friday afternoon, when it was really slow in the office, I went through all of the blogs of these fine women, saved them to my favorites and even stopped by and visited some of the blogs. They were very interesting, very creative...I would even love to be friends with many, if not all, of these ladies.

However, one thing it did to me, that I wasn't expecting and had me pondering all weekend, was foster a sense of insecurity in me. These gals have it together! They write so well, they are so creative, they are great photographers, they have beautiful families, they are encouraging, they are bringing joy to so many, they are traveling, they are remodeling their homes on a shoestring budget and it looks like a dollhouse, they are writing books, they are presenting at conferences, they are weathering the storms of life one blog entry at a time.

Now, I can pick up a People magazine at the grocery store and see a "star" that seems to have it all together and know in the back of my head that their life is as airbrushed as their photo. But these blogging gals are real life, in the trenches, women! It just made me look at myself differently...even to the point of thinking I should take down my blog altogether because I didn't want to compare my random rants to these "professionals."

Hmmmm! So what is it? What caused the insecurity? I am a pretty secure gal typically. Was it just a fleeting feeling. Something that I'll laugh at when I read back over my post...tomorrow! Is God using this as a springboard to move me to the "next" in my life?

So, in closing today (and I think I'll be revisiting this topic again), I'm praying that God will make me secure in my "ordinary" life...the "ordinary" life that MANY would die to have and I am so blessed to be living.